Every Club has its jokes and humour and ours is no exception. What follows is random bits and pieces gathered over the years.


You know you have a real jeep   . .  . .

  1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside
  2. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station
  3. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain
  4. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark
  5. You roll it over and don't get upset
  6. Your mom and sister can't get in without help
  7. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb
  8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush
  9. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts
  10. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days
  11. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail? I don't see a trail!"
  12. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker
  13. When you can see OVER a Suburban
  14. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up
  15. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win
  16. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off
  17. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless
  18. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break
  19. If your Parts Dept. is on blocks behind your house
  20. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again
  21. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield
  22. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents
  23. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints
  24. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling
  25. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other
  26. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof
  27. You spend more on car washes than on insurance
  28. Even worse the car wash won't let you in
  29. You fix almost everything yourself
  30. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser
  31. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized
  32. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground
  33. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snow storm and get paid for it
  34. Your "Significant Other" refuses to get in it
  35. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway
  36. You are dating your mechanic to get a discount
  37. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily
  38. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the noise of your tires on the highway
  39. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep
  40. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel
  41. You carry a set of steps with you at all times
  42. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud
  43. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage
  44. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident
  45. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep
  46. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm
  47. You're constantly getting passed on the highway
  48. Your wallet is always empty
  49. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep

From a fellow off-roader in Colorado